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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Now That's Chutzpah

Chutzpah is typically defined as "brazenness, audacity, or shamelessness". One wag defined it as "killing both parents and then throwing yourself on the court's mercy because you were an orphan".

I now have an updated definition. A colleague just forwarded me this ad on Craigslist in the city where the Unknown Alma Mater is located (I've changed the details enough to make it anonymous):
I Will Pay Someone $$$ To Take My Finance Final Exam

I attend Unknown Alma Mater and I need at least a 60 on my final in order for me to not have to re-take the class. I am not a slacker...I am just terrible with this subject and I cannot afford to fail. The course is titled XXX and the test will be multiple choice definitions and problems. It will mostly cover the basics of financial statements, time value of money problems, valuation of bonds and stocks, and capital budgeting.

It is an online course so the professor and all the students have never come face to face yet. The exam is the only time we meet. It is scheduled for next Saturday (May 9) from 9-12 in the XXX building.

You must be a girl...just in case they check our student IDs. If you are interested or know of anyone who might be, please e-mail me with a price and any questions you may have.

Of course, since the chair of the department at Unknown Alma Mater is a friend of mine, I forwarded it along. My suggestion was that he have a female staff worker or grad student call them and agree to take the exam. When they get an "F" for not taking the exam and call whoever took it to complain about their grade, inform them that the "F" comes with an Academic Dishonesty bonus. Of course, make sure to record the conversation and send me a copy.

Since my readership is far more creative (and, I'm sure, vindictive) than me, I'm sure you can come up with a better option.


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