Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer Promotes Bullying! (sniff, sniff)

People of my generation got used to seeing Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer at least a hal-dozen times each holiday season. It was so ubiquitous that asking someone my age "What do bumbles do" would have about an 80% chance of being answered "Bounce".

It was only a matter of time before the PC crowd got a hold of it. Special ed professor George Giuliani claims that St. Nick's behavior in cartoon is tantamount to bullying, and sends the wrong message to children watching the family favorite. In response, he's written a new book, "No More Bullies at the North Pole," which re-tells the story of the triumphant reindeer (I checked - it's not available at Amazon in case you were thinking of getting it).

"Santa has ten policies that are very unfair, and Mrs. Claus sets out to correct those policies, and what you just saw, where Rudolph is being treated very very badly, and that should never happen," Guiliani said.

Here's an interview of this guy on Fox. It's also notable because they have a response from Brad Stine, one of my favorite comedians. I'd say he does a good job of treating the good professor's idea with all the seriousness it deserves.

In case you're not aware of him, Brad Stine is best knows for his routine "Put a helmet on!" here's a clip


HT: Ace of Spades Headquarters

Ah well - enough wasting of time. Back to work. I have an exam to write, a paper to finish, and a presentation to check (my student-managed investment fund group is making their end-of-semester presentation to the fund's advisory board in two days, and this time we're doing it on-site at the offices of a major investment management firm).

update: The Unknown Daughter thought I was kidding when I told her someone had made up a story about Rudolph being bullied. She's finding out that the world is not only stranger than we imagine, but stranger than we can imagine. Then she proceeded to make fun of Professor Giuliani. That's my girl.

Even Children Can Understand Economics

Every once in a while (actually, make that "on a regular basis), the Unknown Daughter comes out with something that really floors me.

The other day, UD was asking about my grandparents. I told her that both grandfathers worked it the fabric mills in my hometown (back in the day, there were three mills in town). Somehow, the topic morphed into what happened to the mills, so I told her that the mills eventually moved a lot of their business down south, and then (eventually) overseas.

"Why?" she asked?

I answered, "Because the people there would work in the factories for less, so the mill owners could make the fabric more cheaply. Unfortunately, that means that a lot of the workers in the mill lost their jobs."

"So why did they do it if the workers lost their jobs?"

"Well UD, since it cost less to make, they could sell the fabric at a lower price. So, while the workers lost jobs, the people who bought it actually benefited. This means that some workers lost money, and the people who bought the fabric benefited."

Here's what she said: "But Daddy - the people who bought the fabric weren't the only ones who got something out of it. The people who sold the fabric and the people who owned the stores made more money, so they could spend more on other things, like movies and meals and stuff, so they helped the people who sold those things. And then those people had more money, so they could hire more workers, so they benefited, too."

I asked her how she came up with this idea, and she said she just did. Then she gave me "that look" (i.e. 8 years old going on teenager), and said, "After all--my dad IS a finance professor, so I should be smart".

After thinking about it, I realized that she'd gotten that right, too. But the "genetic" story wasn't what I was thinking about--she picked this up largely through osmosis, since I'm often trying to get the Unknown Wife to think in economic terms (i.e. who benefits and who loses, and how). Of course, when I do this, it only serves to tick UW off.

But UD misses little, and remembers most things she hears or sees. So, when she turns teenager, I'm in biiiig trouble.

I shared this with one of my colleagues, and he suggested that I should have UD talk with our state legislators - she could teach them a thing or two.

But given this Wall Street Journal article, I'm skeptical.

Fun With The Tooth Fairy

We try to put as much humor and "magic" into the Unknown Children's lives as possible. One of the recurring jokes in our house is how the Tooth Fairy leaves very unusual notes whenever they have a tooth fall out. In fact, I recently set up a Gmail account for the Tooth fairy so that Unknown Daughter could write her an email (both Unknown Daughter and Unknown Son have email accounts, but only Unknown Wife and I have the passwords, so we can control access). So, UD sent the following email last night. BTW: In case you're wondering about the "Momma" reference, Unknown Daughter has recently gotten into the habit of calling the Unknown Wife "Momma", which irritates her to no end. So I thought I'd lend a hand:

Dear Tooth Fairy:
I have a loose tooth - I can feel it wiggling. Do you think it'll fall out soon?

Love,
The Unknown Daughter

She got an email back this morning:

Dear Unknown Daughter:

Your tooth will probably fall out sometime soon - in the next week or two (or three). You don't need to keep wiggling it - once it gets a bit looser your mommy (remember - she doesn't like to be called Momma) or daddy can get it out for you.

In case you're wondering how I know about you calling your mother "Momma", I heard it through my Spy Teeth Listeners. Most people don''t know this, but I can listen in to what's happening around anyone through their teeth.

Of course, if no one in a house has any teeth, it doesn't work. And false teeth don't count.

Love,
The Tooth Fairy

We occasionally hear the Unknown Kids sharing these things with their friends - classic.

Like Father, Like Son

Unknown Son has had a tough month. In Mid December, he had pneumonia. The antibiotics took care of that in short order, but he's continued to have intermittent stomach cramps - usually about an hour after eating.

We finally took him to to pediatrician, and the CAT scan showed that he's seriously constipated. Without going into too many details, let's just say that with fiber supplements and suppositories, we're working on the problem from both ends.

And yes, my friends have almost to a one said that he comes by the condition honestly - after all, just look at his father.

Meanwhile, even though Unknown Daughter only just got her order form Friday afternoon, she's already sold over a hundred boxes of Girl Scout cookies. She hit up everyone in our neighborhood by Saturday afternoon, and is already plotting her attack on all the nearby developments.

Unknown Son even did her a solid by asking the technician giving the CAT scan "if she'd like to support my sister by buying some Girl Scout cookies." He signed her up for five boxes - peanut butter patties, in case you're interested.

Now THAT's teamwork.

The Math Princess

I often talk about the Unknown Son. All in all, it's not surprising given his struggles with cancer. But today I'm going to brag about the Unknown Daughter for a bit.

She gets $4 in allowance per week. Since we started giving the kids allowances, they've had piggy banks that are divided in three parts - the Church, the Bank, and the Store. They have to put 10% of their allowance in the Church, and this is put in the plate at Sunday School. The remainder goes half in the Bank (their long-term savings) and half in the Store (the amount they can s0pend). Any additional money they earn or get can be spent as they please.

They already know that 10% of a number is just throwing away the last digit. So, the other day, Unknown Daughter (7 years old and in first grade, BTW) asked how much $3.60 (the amount remaining after she takes 10% out of her $4.000) was when split in two. I asked her how much SHE thought it was. She went into the other room, and came out a few minutes later, saying $1.80. I asked her how she got this number, and this was her answer:

• I couldn't split $3 into two, but I can split $2 into 2 $1's . So this left me $1.60.
  
• I Don't know how to split $1.60, but that's just $1 and $0.60.
  
• So, I split the $1 into 2 $0.50's and the %0.60 into 2 $0.30's
• Then I added up the pieces - $1 + $0.50 + $0.30

I thought that was pretty sophisticated reasoning for a first grader (heck - even for a third grader) - and she did it without paper and pencil, too. So, I asked her how much $12.80 was if you split it into 2 pieces. Then I asked her how much $6.40 was split into 2, - this gave us 4 pieces of $3.20. Then we split it into 8 pieces of $1.60, and so on. Finally, we put the whole thing into a table - 1 $12.40, 2 $6. 40's 4 $3.20's, and so on all the way to and so on down to 256 0.05's. And yes, SHE did all the calculations.

She then noticed that the left hand column (the number of pieces) twice as big each time going down the column and the right hand side (the $$ value of each piece) got twice as big going UP the column. We did a few more examples at HER request (she thought the whole thing was a blast).

Finally, she went into her room and came out a few minutes later with a drawing of a girl with a crown on her head, titled "Unknown Daughter - The Math Princess".

Not bad for a first grader, eh? Of course, I'm totally unbiased.

Update (1/4/08): Unknown daughter came to me today and said "Daddy - I decided I don't want to be called the Math Princess. From now on, I want to be called the MATH RULER." That's my girl.